Just standing at the threshold mind you - not celebrating in any way shape or form. The last days of this year 2009 was so full of good feeling but also so much bad karma that I feel like imploding inside (is there such a word? - when you burst inwards?)
Christmas started innocently enough with the same routine - the carload of goods and presents and clothes for the trudge up to in-laws who love a 40-minute-drive away. The cakes and coffee that greet us and the usual "Oh-what-a-nice-tree" oohhhs and aaahs..
The service or do they call it mass - at a church so dimly lit - I am all for subdued lighting but it looked like the church was just a step close to a power blackout and the slow, organ music and the hymns - does God all Mighty even love these dreary, lifeless hymns being sung in His honour? No offence but surely something along the lines of Harlem Gospel lifts the spirits and lightens the heart more right?
The dinner was okay - a rather tough lamb stew and an ambiguous cooked cucumber thingy- was just sad that my son's appetite was more or less treated like a secondary thing because he had lots of bread, bread, bread...
It was my mother-in-law's behaviour that was exhausting and my hubby did not help much to make Christmas season an occasion to remember...
For instance, why is it that when hubby is at my mom's place and this - never for more than 3 nites at the last count, he gets to lounge around, sleep in while I am the one who is in the kitchen? And I am still the one who is stuck with the same routine when I am at his mom's place? It is the epitome of male masochism - I tell you.
So there I was - up at the crack of dawn because of my son's internal clock and I had to rack my brains to make conversation with my mom-in-law and the thing is - when I start to tell her something - her attention is - for want of a better word - transient and flimsy. She would always interrupt me with " I have got to ........blah-blah in the kithen/laundry room/ bedroom/bathroom and will be right back" And shen then practically sprints out of there - leaving me in mid-sentence and you know? she never comes back.
When she did come back, she would not bother to ask me to continue where she had cut me off.
But when SHE starts on a story - it is so mind numbingly dull that I want to stick my whole fist in my mouth to make myself go into a MEGA RETCH!!! It's about some neighbour who did something normal like - I dunno - hammer a nail in the wall to hang up a picture or something along those very boring lines and I make sure that I keep this "That's-a-very-interesting-story" face the whole time. I did not interrupt her the whole time. I let her come to a natural finish-without-the-flourish.
But next time I will...
and that's the resolution for me this time around...
...to be happy....
....and anything or anyone, who is a potential hindrance to me achieving this resolution ...will be discarded to one side or told off in the most direct manner, respectively.
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