First Yummy Mummies meet since the year 2010 rolled in and we were all bundled in one car - the four of us plus a cutie munchkin - headed towards the other side of the Rhine River - a place I had never ventured into. The drive was about 20 minutes and of course, with all ladies abound, we started talking - how we had spent New Year's Eve, how the kids were doing etc, etc - and something funny had occured to me.
We were four non German ladies - real foreigners, not even European - but we were all chatting and conversing in German - can you beat that?!!! We did not realize it because it had become almost second nature.
So to the nay sayers out there who think that we try our damned hardest to not fit in - F**k you! We would not have bothered talking in this language if we were not even remotely interested in blending in.
Anyhoo, our hostess had conjured a nice, hearty soup with goose meat. It had turned out that it was a 5 kg goose (which explains why Germans do away with the 5 kg turkey for Easter as well as for Christmas). It was delicious and I had piled on the garlic and dried chili flakes on my hot steaming bowl and right there and then, it cleared my sinuses.
Thank God for Yummy Mummies - I was starting to feel a bit funky about my life and the things I have achieved as well as the things I have yet to achieve and the amount of time left to do it. What if the list never got around to being completed?
It is no bucket list mind you - its just that I had come across an old friend of mine who went on to accomplish things that I can only dream or imagine about in my wildest dreams. I felt envious - in comparison, my life is so cushioned and so well, dull in comparison.
I keep getting the feeling that surely there must be more to it than what I have done so far? It's not about making more money or having more money - it's asking the dreaded question - am I happy where I am right now? Or so numb with the mundane routine that I don't even realize that I am not happy? Just not feeling one way or the other...
I feel like digging and excavating into myself - with my bare hands, dredging up all the dirt and cobwebs and clogged dirt and screaming " Where are you?! Where are you?! I KNOW that the real you is hidden in here somewhere!"
But who is the real me? Buried too far down it's just best left that way?
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