Looking downwards...

Yummy Mummy does not feel so yummy these days. Everytime I head to the gym to work out, squeaky-voiced-damn-her-to-hell-and-back fitness trainer keeps asking me if I have measured by blood pressure. Whenever I say no, she just gives me this look like I am just sealing my death sentence.

Whenever I did allow her to swing me into taking my BP, the reading had turned out to be so high - Stage 2 Hypertension already - that she had harked very loud and clearly for all in the gym to hear "Ooops! That's really high!" and on and on and on. When I proceeded to do the workout, I tell you - I am anything but relaxed or happy. She thinks - just hop to the doctor - get some pills prescribed and pop them in my mouth for the rest of my life and that will be it.

As I get on the stepper or on the machines and do the motions or moves, I keep thinking in my head "I'm dying - I'm dying - I'm dying" in rythmic tandem to the music. She keeps asking me if I am feeling okay - "not faint or anything?" that I have this urgent need to pull up her paunch all the way up to smother her face and shut her up!!!!

High blood pressure? Me? How? When? What now? Is this the beginning of the end?

Two kgs that crept up during my last trip to Yummy Mummy homeland - have taken permanent residence on my tummy and hips and despite being given notice to evict, they are defying my orders and staying put.

I keep looking downwards and see how much of my feet I can still see. If I start to not even get a glimpse of them, then I know I am way too big. Muffin Top? Seven Waterfalls? I can soooo relate.

I feel not so yummy also because suddenly i am the only one in my family that is not a member of the la-di-da tennis club. My hubby is and as of last Sunday, so is my 4 year old son. And moi?

Hubby's answer was " Oh well, the club management said that since membership is expensive, why don't you let your wife try out a few times first whether she likes it here before making the commitment to join the club?"

How concerned these people are, how considerate - what a load of crap!! Nobody at this club said that! They are just happy to get more members. The creator of this nonsense is none other than hubby himself - I am sure of it.

So, Yummy Mummy is a tad chubby, a tad depressed, a tad more than hypertensive, a tad insecure and have been kept away from the tennis club community. For what reason? The only logical excuse that comes to mind - that while hubby is happy to parade our son at the club, he is none too happy to parade me.

I guess because he is ashamed of me? I dunno...not white enough? Not slim enough? Not la-di-da enough?

Yup, ain't feeling too Yummy these days.....and the weather here is just so gloomy and cold - perfect accompaniment to my glum....